It's Moving Day! And you're all set -- except for no Moving Company, no Moving Company truck, no movers, no phone call

Is it too much to ask that the Moving Company actually be on the premises during Moving Day? (President-Elect Barack Obama, take note; rumor has it there is a move in the offing for the Obama family. I would advise a moving-truck rental; perhaps Vice-President-Elect Joe Biden will give you a hand.)

Yes, it is, actually. Are you new around here.

Have you forgotten our "move window" discussion so soon? You do not have a Moving Day, in the sense that on a certain day, which you are privy to, a Moving Company truck will actually arrive at your house.

What you have is a "moving window". Of course you have no idea what a "move window" is, let alone a "moving window"; which is exactly how your moving company, AAA World Wide Trans Van Lines Moving Company (AAAWWTVLMC), likes it.

The less you know, the better.

They know that you are too embarrassed to call them up and ask them: "Where is my moving window?"

Don't you feel like a little stupid even thinking about asking a question like that? Does that question make any sense? Would you like to try to rephrase it so that it does make some sense?

Good luck with that. Go ahead and try. We'll wait for you.

So now you understand that your AAA World Wide Trans Van Lines Moving Company contract is full of ambiguities; ambiguities that serve to protect AAA World Wide Trans Van Lines Moving Company, while simultaneously filling you with a blissfully false sense of security.

All of which means: your "move window" means whatever AAAWWTVLMC says it means. Actually, your "move window" can move, and probably will move; it may be moving now.

However, perhaps by now you've been given a specific Move Date, and have broken out of the "move window" shackles. You have even been promised that AAA World Wide Trans Van Lines Moving Company will be at your house at 8:00 am on October 20th.

Life is good, and you are feeling rather peppy, having so easily mastered this "move window" peccadillo that you've been hearing so much about. People are such whiners, aren't they?

That being the case, perhaps you were wondering why it was now 10:00 am on October 20th, and no Moving Truck.

Maybe you should try calling AAA World Wide Trans Van Lines Moving Company? If you do, please remember not to whine.

Were you told you would be contacted by "Dispatch" within 48 hours of your move date? Did you believe them?

Here is what you will be told, on the phone, and later via email, after you have put down a substantial deposit on your move:

• " Dispatch Will Be Contacting You 48 Hours Prior To Your Move Date To Coordinate Your Pick-Up."

You might be wondering why every word in the entire sentence is capitalized in the email you received.

This is because You Are Dealing With A Professional Moving Company, And They Take Customer Service Very Seriously. And That Is Why The Email They Send You Is A Form Letter, Which Notifies You That "Dispatch" Will Be Contacting You.

You might also be wondering: "Who is 'Dispatch'? Is he 'Mr. Dispatch'? Or is he 'Dispatch Jones'? ... And what happened to my good friend Priscilla?"

Well, the sad truth is that Priscilla, apparently, is AWOL. And, unfortunately, Priscilla will not be calling you again.

And, although you and Priscilla use to be very close -- you must keep in mind that that was before you forked over your credit card number.

Priscilla will also never email you again. And, should you decide to email her, as fast as you press Send, your emails will rocket into her inbox-of-death.

Perhaps you should call Priscilla, since it's always best to talk with a live person (haven't you been paying attention?). And when you do that, it might be a good idea to leave a message on her Voice Mail. In fact, you might want to leave five or six messages, just to be sure.

Eventually you might want to give up on Priscilla, and just wait for your call from Dispatch. This is always a good time.

You may remember that you were given a two-day "move window". This means, there are two days when the moving truck might actually arrive at your house. Here is how the "move window" works: you wait at your house during the first day of your "move window": if midnight arrives, and you are still waiting at your house, and Dispatch has not called you, and the moving truck has not shown up, this means that your moving day will be the second day of your "move window". Most likely.

Summary for your moving-company review of potential moving-company problems:

1. Assume you will not be contacted by the moving-van driver ahead of time to verify when he will pick up your furniture.
   
2. Before putting any money down, have your sales person send you an email, telling you who who will be contacting you with the furniture pick-up date and time, and when that person will be contacting you.
   
3. Get details on several people, phone numbers, and email addresses that you can contact if you don't here from anyone by the date she tells you.
4. Consider processing a chargeback on your credit card for the moving-company deposit, if the moving company fails to do what they told you they would do, by the date they told you they would do it.
   

Is the moving company you sign up with a real moving company, or just a moving-company broker, which merely finds customers for real moving companies?

Well this is an easy one, right?

All you have to do is ask Priscilla, when she answers the phone, if the company that employs her, "AAA World Wide Trans Van Lines Moving Company", is a moving-company broker. And, of course, Priscilla will answer "Yes" if the company that employs her is a broker; and she will answer "No" if the company that employs her is not a broker.

Moving-company brokers have a bad reputation. They don't actually own any moving trucks. A definite negative in the furniture-moving business. So what do they actually do? They find a moving company for you (which is what you're suppose to be doing). And they will charge you for that. So what moving-company brokers actually do is find a moving company for you, and collect your money. Oh, and they lock you into a contract. (More on these pesky little side-issues in future posts.)

When Priscilla answers you, write down in your voluminous, well-organized notes: "No, not a broker (per Priscilla)". Be sure to underline "not".

This will help you to feel better when "Joe the Handyman & International Moving Company", whom you've never heard of, calls you and tells you when he will be picking up your furniture. Of course you will say, politely: "Who in the Sam Hill are you?"

Joe will tell you that he has been hired to move your furniture.

At this point you should say: "No -- we hired 'AAA World Wide Trans Van Lines Moving Company' to move our furniture."

Joe will then say "I don't know anything about that. Do you want me to pick up your furniture, or not?" Or else he will say, if he's feeling chatty: "Did you read your contract?"

And if you then follow Joe's advice, and read your contract, here is what you will find:

• "Customer has hired AAA World Wide Trans Van Lines Moving Company as a moving coordinator / shipper agent and not to handle or otherwise participate in a move. In acting as a shipper agent only, AAA World Wide Trans Van Lines Moving Company is not responsible for any acts or omissions of the carrier or its employees or agents. Customer must pursue the carrier for all claims for property damage and personal injury or death, including without limitation, any claims for damage to property, lost or stolen goods, delayed pickup or delivery, actions of estimators, drivers, packers or movers, or other types of claims."

Not a good sign when the broker feels a need to bring "death" into the equation.

Summary for your moving-company review of potential moving-company problems:

1. Ask your contact if her company is a moving-company broker. If they are, you might want to find another moving company.
2. If your contact states that here company is not a broker, as her to email you the contract that you will sign. If she won't until after you have given her a credit card number, you might want to find another moving company.
3. If you receive the contract, read it carefully, looking for phrases such as "moving coordinator", "shipping agent only", etc. If you find phrases like that, you might want to find another moving company.
4. Ask your contact if her company ever schedules too many moves, and is therefore "forced" to "subcontract" your move to another moving company, which you would know nothing about. If so, you might want to find another moving company.
5. Your best bet is to find a moving company for your move (whether an interstate move or an intrastate move), that owns it own trucks, and which does not "subcontract" their moves.